Monday, April 17, 2006

suppose that an envelope is a spaceship

This is an extremely odd line of thought -- but hear me out. In my experience, new lines of thought -- where you haven't developed language yet -- tend to emerge through metaphors. It feels like I'm onto something; I just don't know quite what yet.

1. Suppose that all art is a direct response to something -- that there is no such thing as spontaneous generation of an idea. Imagine that for every idea, you could put a tag on it, a label saying exactly which sources it is a response to...

2. Suppose that an envelope is a spaceship.

3. Suppose that a letter is a clone of your own brain. That is, by sitting down and writing out your ideas, you can create a six-foot-tall blue-eyed facsimile of your very being.

4. Suppose that the Milky Way, this spiral-armed galaxy, is populated with intelligent beings: one to a planet. Suppose that the closer you get to the center of the galxy, the more like yourself these beings are -- and at the edges of the galaxy, everyone is your complete opposite.

5. Suppose that all the beings in the galaxy are not anonymous, but rather have proper first names: Dwayne, Eleanor, Fritz, Jane.

6. Suppose that all the beings in the galaxy are made of the exact same stuff as you. We are all made of some sort of yogurt that congealed from milk that dripped down from the big black eternity above.

7. Suppose that there is no way to change the beings on the outer arms of the galaxy who you are in conflict with. Only they can change their own minds. If you object to their existence, you would ultimately have to murder them. But even in your anger, you can see that you can't condone murdering Dwayne, Eleanor, and Fritz...

8. Seeing as how the people closer to the center of the galaxy are very like you, and the people who are farther out are less like you, it's reasonable to assume that your friends (like Jane) are friends with some people who you personally couldn't stand to be with.

9. ...However, your clone has no such objections. If you send your paper clone in his/her spaceship out to a neighboring world, your friends could introduce the clone to their neighboring worlds -- but you wouldn't have to be subject to the stress of that encounter.

10. Presume that we are all trying to understand the world we are living in.

11. Art is an attempt, however indirect, to create an interpretation of experience.

12. Isolation is a terrible motivator. Being with a group of encouraging artists who are trying to express themselves in similar ways to you -- this is a great motivator. It is as if you all can see the same ghostly image, and are together trying to make-out its outline. The creative process is one of collectively trying to articulate what you see.

13. There can come a point where you have seen all that there is to see in your immediate vicinity. There is no inspiration, only boredom nearby. Inspiration comes from going farther out from the center of the galaxy, to places where you are seeing things that you don't recognize.

14. Suppose that in making your art you were meticulous about documenting precisely who and what you were responding to: both the truly alien, and the familiar.

15. Suppose that there is nothing inanimate in the galaxy. That everything that exists, exists because there is a living being -- with a proper name -- preserving it. Suppose that if you want to respond to these things, you had to speak directly to the beings that stand for them.

16. In a group you could create a clone collectively -- but it would be a giant built out of all of your bodies. The people on the outskirts of the galaxy would fear and reject this colossus. But a clone of a single person -- that could travel outward, staying overnight at friends' houses on the way, out to the edge of the galaxy. ...So long as you created the clone in good faith, imbuing it with your own personal essence, rather than attempting to build a soulless robot. (Who would invite a strange, anonymous robot to stay with their family?)

...Um, that's it. That's what I can dredge up at the moment. Looks like I'm noodling around with a metaphor for being alive, living in society, creativity, and ethics. Hm.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Or, call me Zoe

You scored as Zoe Alleyne Washburne. The Soldier. You are the second in command, and that is fine. You like a chain of command, but only when the one in charge has earnt your respect. Those who earn your love or loyalty will find no one better to guard their back.

The Operative

94%

Zoe Alleyne Washburne

94%

River Tam

75%

Capt. Mal Reynolds

69%

Kaylee (Kaywinnet Lee) Frye

69%

Inara Serra

69%

Shepherd Derrial Book

56%

Simon Tam

56%

Hoban 'Wash' Washburne

56%

Jayne Cobb

6%

Which Serenity character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Saturday, February 11, 2006

gender questions

Is there such a thing as a male brunette? Are only women brunettes? How odd... I feel like there must be this other species walking around among us: "the brunette menace".

A man can have blond hair -- but I don't think you'd say he IS a blonde ("Mark's a blonde") -- reducing his existence to hair. You might say he's a red-head, though. Are red-heads the most alien of the hair-people?

Is "brunette" the most feminizing hair color because it has the diminutive "ette" on the end?

...

Do boys start out loving dinosaurs, but then grow up to love robots? Are cars robots? Are soldiers robot dinosaurs?

Friday, February 03, 2006

call me Kaylee

Via G: Which Serenity Character Are You?

Your results:
You are Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)
Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)
90%
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)
90%
Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)
65%
Inara Serra (Companion)
60%
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)
60%
River (Stowaway)
55%
Derrial Book (Shepherd)
50%
Wash (Ship Pilot)
35%
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)
30%
A Reaver (Cannibal)
20%
Alliance
20%
You are good at fixing things.
You are usually cheerful.
You appreciate being treated
with delicacy and specialness.
Click here to take the "Which Serenity character are you?" quiz...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

chris mystery

Bought the xmas vegetation today: tree, wreath, mistletoe, pointsettas. Yowza.

And I sent off all the presents to people in Tucson.

The tree is up, but undecorated. The house is vacuumed top to bottom. Groceries are in the fridge...

Mondays are my cleaning day. The two Mondays before today kinda got consumed by xmas shopping... Good to get the carpet clean again. I've been trying out a new schedule where I've got tasks defined for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday -- allowing Tuesdays and Thursdays to be overflow days. Tomorrow, then, I ought to be able to finish what didn't get done today; most importantly: bills.

Xmas shopping has sucked my soul out. But I may have just hit the tipping point... When I look at what's left to do, things are in pretty good shape. Haven't decided whether or not I'm done shopping for G.

Ah -- but no rest for the wicked, still. Need to be making progress on the Super8 final project. And I've gotta be researching house buying.

A first step in that direction: Tuesday and Thursday I'm going to go to a free class up in Vancouver on home buying. That ought to jump-start this project. After the initial burst of energy, it's been pretty much stalled for the past few weeks.

(2006 is coming. Eep.)

Sunday, November 20, 2005

another pretty lie, this time about sleep and demons

Maybe sleep is God's way of preventing us from becoming demons.

See, it's a well known fact (at least in China) that demons can only travel in straight lines. And if you couldn't sleep, well, then there'd never be any reason to stop. This occurs to me sometimes when I'm really enthusiastic about a project -- writing or painting -- that if only I didn't have to go to sleep, I could just keep going. I could pursue a thread until I found its very end.

And if I did that? Who knows what kind of demon I'd become. All sense of balance would go out the window. I would follow my obsession until I had become a grotesque parody of it's humble, mild-mannered origins.

If no one slept, we'd all be carried along by our passions without break, becoming more and more like whatever will-o'-the-wisp we're chasing. People would be just like themselves -- only more so. Frightening, right? Only divinely-imposed distraction saves us.

So, see? It's a very good thing that we go to sleep. Someone must be looking out for us.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

the end of the world - revisited

Back in high school it was still possible to think about all the ways the world might end. With my whole life ahead, there was no reason not to hope that we could save the world in my lifetime. The future was so far away.

Now life is shorter. If I'm already halfway through, it's much harder to imagine that anything is going to profoundly change for the better.

It's been a long time since I've really thought about all the ways the world is falling apart, all at once. It's more manageable to think about them one at a time, and usually not head on -- just noting them out of the corner of my mind's eye... But now -- at the risk of sounding naive -- let's review:

1. Nuclear bombs. It's not the Russians in the scare scenario anymore -- it's terrorists, or India and Pakistan, or even China who'll loose the missiles.

2. Running out of energy. With gas prices so high, the prospect of simply running out of natural energy resources is seeming more plausible than usual. Apparently there's been a meme going around the net, someone walking through exactly how society would begin to break down without means for transportation and heat...

3. Extinction of species. I've heard that among zoologists there's a phrase, "documenting the decline". The thing that freaks me more than losing the gorillas, though, is the killer seaweed that's taking over on the sea beds. (Wish I could recall what it's called...)

4. Killer germs. This one's new during my lifetime. AIDS freaked everyone out. Then there was mad cow disease... Folks are talking seriously now about a pandemic of bird flu... Who knows what kind of super-plague will hit, traveling globally due to airplanes...

I suppose those are the real "end of life as we know it" scenarios. But, of course, there are a few other "very, very bad" trends that probably ought to be added:

5. Climate change. We've got the hole in the ozone. The ice caps are melting in freakish ways. I don't think I've heard anyone directly attribute Hurricane Katrina to global warming, but one has to suspect...

6. Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs). I include this in the big list of scare because it's on everyone's radar, but it's probably the least tangible thing on this list. There's the story about the butterflies that couldn't cope with genetically modified corn, and Monsanto's copyrighting rice in India, and tomatoes being spliced with fish genes. Creepy -- but not a deadly threat. Yet.

7. Pollution. Less discussed than it was in the 70s... But now companies are buying and selling the right to pollute, which is freaky. There are stories about human fertility going down world-wide because of sex hormone mimics that have made it into the environment. There's caffeine in the fish in the Willamette because we pee our Starbucks lattes there. All of us have vinyl and 70 other odd chemicals in our bloodstreams...

In a way, the previous seven issues have all been about the environment -- ways to make the world around us unlivable. Let's throw in a few social issues now. Not the "end of the world", but rather "dystopia" scenarios.

8. Corporate domination. The corporations exist to earn profit, and do so at the expense of honest accounting, environmental safety, honesty about pensions, fair labor practices, et cetera et cetera. It's not the fault of anyone involved: corporations are a logic that inexorably plays out. It is in their nature to try to buy the government, and to essentially become small nations unto themselves.

9. Authoritarian government. Government is organized crime. It exists to hold a monopoly on violence. Domestically, it exerts control via the police. Internationally, via the military. It is in the nature of government to want to increase control -- to have surveillance over its own citizens, and to use economics to subjugate other nations, or war and torture if that option isn't available.

10. Ethnic conflict. Ah, but it's not as if it's simply the government vs. the people. The people are against the people, too. We've just seen two weeks of rioting in France, largely due to a history of racial privilege. The Right wants to crack down, the Left wants to create social programs to deal with joblessness, etc. The squeaky wheel is getting some oil -- but the violence will be remembered for generations. The ethnic tensions could lead to a Yugoslavia situation -- ethnic cleansing. Or maybe there'll just be race riots every ten or so years, like in the U.S. Once bad blood exists between groups, is there really any way to wash away the stain? Is the Israel-Palestine conflict a model for the rest of the world? --Limited land, but infinite cycles of grief and revenge?

Ten is a good number to end at. Those are the big global issues to worry over. I could add (11) hunger and poverty -- but that's so much a function of 8, 9, and 10 playing out. I could add (12) police brutality and (13) domestic violence, but there's a way in which these are also just examples of authoritarian government and (a type of ) ethnic conflict. Perhaps I ought to add (14) drug abuse -- that's a burden on society that is relatively new to the past hundred years, that's grown out of control. (15) Militarism might be worth mentioning -- since the "military industrial complex" is its own logic, playing out. Same story with (16) the prison industrial complex.

Why bother writing all of this? Hard to say. Just the urge to look at it face on once in a while, I guess. Sing along with me y'all: "These are a few of my least favorite things..."

OK -- back to life now. Cheer up... We've got Joss Whedon and Neil Gaiman and art blogs. The vegetarian options are better than ever before. Globally, slavery is less accepted than it was 200 years ago. In the U.S., subjugation of women and African-Americans is no longer generally accepted. And Bush's popularity has been hitting all-time lows...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

a long, dark, cold night ahead

Feeling very glum. Just watched a Frontline documentary called "the last abortion clinic". It very clearly brings it home that we're losing. And with a big Supreme Court case due on Nov. 30 that could change the whole landscape, it's very possible that we've just lost any real chance for progress for the next 30 years.

The Woodie Guthrie story about the rabbits being chased into a warren keeps going through my head. What do you do? Go underground, and wait til you outnumber them. [note: scroll down to the anecdote below "jesus christ".]

Part of me wants to sell the whole DVD collection, give up on buying a house -- put all my money into defeating the bastards. I feel like I've been put into a stupor, enjoying fantasies on TV... Now DVDs. Or on Google. Or making my own movies. None of these things connect to reality. I want to throw away all my pockets of fantasy. Give all this wealth to organizations fighting the good fight. Or at least come up with a donation plan where I'm giving significant monthly donations to NARAL and NGLTF, etc.

The poem "apolitical intellectuals" comes to mind. ...Yet, I feel like our side is in desperate need, that we must clarify our principles. We're on the defensive, not offering up a better vision than the opponents. Spin, spin, spin -- it feels like both sides' mouths are full of opinion-polled lies.

I know whose side I stand on, but I don't know who's saying the words that speak to my heart. Maybe what I do, writing, can ultimately help bring the spirit back. It's worth fighting the good fight -- we need to be able to say why it's good.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

34 Skidoo

32 was "32 Footsteps" by TMBG. 33 was "I Palindrome I". 34 is "34 Skidoo" by the Bill Evans Trio, compliments of G & the iTunes store.

Mellow day here. The traditional reading of "On The Day You Were Born" by Debra Frasier. A special Eggs Benedict & red potatoes breakfast. From G: a hand-calligraphed card and the Rustboy book. Lounging on the couch relaxing and reading. A quick jaunt over to the studio to vacuum up my strewn styrofoam greeblies before Artist's Way tonight. A surprise for G: I framed a picture of Amelia for Day of the Dead and put it in the laundryroom as a memorial. Cake -- "molten chocolate" from William Sonoma (another G gift), served in little ramekins with Hagen daaz.

Gifts: A card and check from Grannie & Grampa. From mom, a glass globe and a book on oxymorons. From Shield -- objectively the most adept gift-giver of all time -- Jelly Babies (ala Doctor Who) and the ORIGINAL three Astounding Stories magazines that "At the Mountains of Madness" appeared in...

...In 1936. Eighty years ago. WOW. [And so it simply kills me that I managed to add a small nick to one of them, despite being ever so careful while opening.]

A phone call from Grannie & Grampa after dinner. Mom called before we were up this morning, left a message -- calling from Oaxaca! Tonight I'm going out with J -- to Rimsky Korsakoffee's, or something similar.

I ordered some DVDs from Amazon last week -- and, as I'd hoped, they synchronistically arrived today. Not that they're meant as presents, but it's nice anyway. The extra-special pick of the litter: The Tomorrow People, which I remember watching on Nickelodeon a billion years ago. After we're done with Dark Angel, that's next in the queue. To be followed, I imagine, by Battlestar Galactica season 1.

34 is such a non-descript number. 35 is a bit scarier. I think my mental shift from here on out will be to begin referring to myself thus: "Well, I'm a strapping young man..." This, you see, rather than continuing to playfully say "I'm an old man..." I think it will keep my head in a better place as I work my way towards 70, 80, 90. Evolving into a lively, wrinkled, ageless Shakespearian Fool won't happen on its own, y'know?

Friday, October 28, 2005

looking a gift economy in the mouth

I've been hearing a quiet buzz for a while about the notion of a "gift economy". Hard to pin down where I've been hearing it, but I can testify that DJ Spooky mentioned it briefly at his TBA Fest lecture. "Gift economy" is a term that is most strongly coming out of the Burning Man subculture. It resonates with the anti-corporation vibe that hit a high-water mark at the "battle in Seattle" WTO protests a few years back, a vibe that continues to reverberate in a fairly omnipresent way among those of the Left, in all their flavors.

"Gift economy" sounds good -- instead of greedily seeking profit, just give stuff away. It's got an appeal to anyone with lingering sympathies for Communist and Hippie ideas. But here's the thing: Burning Man is also premised upon radical independence. Everyone has to lay down some serious cash in order to buy their survival equipment and their way through the door. This has been much commented upon already...

...Here's the new idea that occurred to me a few nights ago: gift economy minus radical independence equals bribery economy. If everyone doesn't already have what they need, then gifting becomes the only means to purchasing basic needs. Install the gift economy on a society-wide basis, and that adds up to encouraging corruption. Instead of fee-for-service, you have to sweet-talk your way to where you want to go. No thanks.

I'm all for the notion of creating a surplus above what you need for survival, and then giving it away freely, rather than pursuing profit for no good reason. But let's be careful to keep the "gift economy" concept constrained -- it doesn't belong everywhere.