File under "dumb and painful":

I shaved. I showered. I brushed my teeth. Put on glitter powder. The whole beautifying regimen.

Then I go to Lister. And clumsy-handed, the bottle slips and sloshes up into my face. Ouch; stings the eye!

There are some places that God never meant to be minty fresh.

[So, if you find yourself wondering later on tonight, "what's that sparkly cologne he's wearing tonight?"... Well, now you'll know.]