Turned out the light at 3:33am last night. Better, but still sick. At this point, it's mostly just about my lungs. I'm not coughing, so I think things will go alright at Matrix this afternoon. But it makes me worry in a secretly irrational way.

My lungs just feel tired, and last night they were making a wheezy sound. My irrational fear is always that I'll get what Jim Henson had, and not figure it out til too late. He just thought he had a persistent head cold. But then...

"Amadeus" always freaked me out, too. I've got this notion that if I work too hard, stay up too late, I'll topple over dead (with my final masterpiece clutched in my cold, stiff claw).

Went over to G's last night to watch "Angel". *ahem* ..."The Spike Show." This was the one with Mexican luchaderos. It was OK -- but I tells ya, it felt more like an X-Files ep than something out of the buffyverse.

After reading the Television Without Pity site, I'm feeling a little snarky. So here are my two cents: 1) Please stop doing exposition every episode about how "we work at Wolfram & Hart now; no one likes us here; oh, how will it change us?" 2) A season arc about how Angel is feeling apathetic does not make for must see TV. Hey Angel, I sympathize -- but c'mon, you're killing us!

...Y'know, despite everyone constantly saying he's "brooding", his performance always looked more like "absent-minded" to me.

Wow. What a day for amazing finds on the net.

Dr. Sven S. Liljeblad, a former UNR distinguished professor, died in Stockholm, Sweden on March 15, 2000 at age 100.

This is the guy I was named after. As I understand, his last name is pronounced "lul-ya-blod". My standard joke has always been: "Thank god I only got his first name!"

Now, if I could just find a photo of him...

HOLY F**K!

So, I was doing some browsing at the freechild.org site, contemplating getting more involved with this organization. I click a few links over to the "Reinventing Childhood" site, and start looking at the "Adults as Allies" page...

"Hm, sounds awful familiar... Wow, excellent point... Y'know, these are exactly the points I would have made. Gosh, didn't know there were other people out there so in line with my thinking. ...Wait a second -- 'the heart and soul of an ally'? I'm almost certain I wrote something under that title..."

Then I get to the bottom of the page: Adapted from "The Role of Adults in Youth Liberation," http:/generator.puddingbowl.org/archives/001082.php

No wonder why it sounds so familiar -- this page was directly adapted from one of MY essays!

And I didn't even know about it. Too cool!

Addendum, minutes later:

And I see on the "definitions" page several terms that I personally coined.

And here's the write-up I get on the "links" page:

The Generator
http://generator.puddingbowl.org
Sven Bonnichsen's writings on age, ageism and adultism. Fascinating, effective and penetrating insights into the dominating culture of adultocentrism.

Quite a bit better. Woke up with energy and not so itchy in the tonsils. Did have to hack things out of my lungs though. Ick. Lymph nodes still swollen, but not as much so. Probably will have waves of feeling well and feeling sick throughout the day.

G visited last night, to tend the sickie. We watched last week's "Angel" (though I'm getting more insistent about calling it "The Spike Show"), and we finished chapter 2 of "Stardust". Bad Sven; didn't go to sleep til 3.

So, what are J and I doing for our 8 year anniversary on Monday? We've talked about doing Breitenbush, which I think is the front-runner -- but money is going to be an issue. Meh. Don't like leaving this to so late in the game.

In related news, on Friday it'll be 3 months since I first met G. Hm. *evil grin*

Working on plans to see "Matrix Revolutions". I'm angling for early afternoon Thursday. Right now things are hung up on G's friend Mark, who offered to take her, but was vague about when. Hope to bring mph along. Huh... If things go as planned, that'll make him the first of the Portland Crew (outside of the Butte fam) to meet G face-to-face. "When Worlds Collide."

Been interesting, slowly getting a window in on G's circle (or perhaps I should say "Michael's circle", which is then sort of G's by default). Gave Philip & John rides home after we all went out to see Faust last Thursday. Nice to identify something I could contribute, even if it's simply practical. Met Philip & John previously at the H.P. Lovecraft Filmfest. It was a little frustrating, because there was no sit-down meal, or other gathering of the forces at which everyone could introduce. But, I suppose the way it turned out may have been better -- less awkward pressure to make small talk, as we were all busy with running around to catch our flick picks in the schedule.

Called Leopoldo & mph yesterday, friendly reminders to vote. Caught mph, and briefly discussed my thought about setting up a second YL blog. He indicated that it would take very little effort. All I need do is pick a name, a template, and say if there are tweaks in it that I want to make. Perhaps I'll get to that today. ...It'd also be fun to finally fuss with Planet Sven's template, which I've been meaning to do for, like, two weeks now.

The house, of course, is a shambles. And it's not even the kind of mess where you can outline a to-do list. In order to write a check-list, you need to have discrete, definable tasks. Things are so cattiwompus here, I recognize that I need to just set aside time to "putter" -- undirected time, letting my attention wander from task to task, at whim. There needs to be an underlying order to the mess if you want to apply an organized approached; we're beyond that right now. ...In prep for the birthday party on Friday, I shove things into the closet, and into the laundry room. Ridiculous.

Bah. Time to eat breakfast. And call G, to see if any plans with Mark have crystallized.

Nibbles: cereal & OJ; 3 hard-boiled eggs and the remaining spinach. Nothing sounds good. :-(

Just got back from dropping off ballots for J & I. I voted "yes" for the PUD, after a lot of reading and indecision. The Mercury and Willamette Week articles helped me finally make up my mind. The Mercury article isn't particularly even-handed, but it was the first reference I found to a court case in which PGE's ads were found to be "profoundly misleading" (something I'd kinda guessed anyway). Probably my biggest reservation is the argument that the constituent cities of Multnomah County don't all have to sign on, creating a sort of "swiss cheese" of service provision... It's so difficult to figure out what's what. Ah, democracy.

Better. But still sick. My lymph nodes are huge, and my tonsils and ears still itch on and off. But my eyes aren't as irritated, and my runny nose is taking a break for the moment. More energy, after nigh twelve hours sleep (minus that half-hour when the school bus is picking kids up outside).

I'm Mr. Grunge. I see a shave and shower in my near future. Wouldn't mind if I had a self-cleaning house, either. The downstairs really isn't as hellacious as it looks; it's all just surface clutter. It's the office that's got me down. I finally cleared off my bills desk a week or two ago -- but at the expense of floorspace. Grr. Arg.

Thinking more and more about getting mph to set up another blog on Movable Type for me, one where I post my daily YL thoughts. The past few days I've been allowing that material here, and I worry that it's starting to re-purpose the space. ...Now that I've got mph on my buddy list, it wouldn't take much; he's almost always online. Been thinking about calling the new site "Notepad". Dunno.

Finished watching "The Thing From Another World" yesterday afternoon. In a freakish synchronicity, it's supposed to occur on Nov 2, concluding on Nov 3. Also watched a bunch of episodes from Family Guy season 2. Lying on the couch and watching TV is supposed to be the plan when you're sick, but I'm not so sure it was effective for me. Kept on getting up to get food, so the rest and warmth aspects got undermined. I also tend to feel dubious about just lying around; don't you need a bit of exercize to keep the blood moving?

You know what would be a really good idea now? Breakfast.

I've reached that bizarre moment in being sick where discomfort is emulating the physical sensation of guilt. What the hell...?

I'm hungry. Nothing seems to fill me or taste right. I can tell my cheeks are flushed. An hour or so ago my nose was dripping to the extent that I would fail to catch it in time (ick!). ...The bodily discomfort isn't so bad; what about this is translating into an emotional thing?

Probably best to just go to bed. Tomorrow the world will be OK again. It's just me.

Sicker. Woke up several times last night, head throbbing, hints of nausea.

G came over in the evening with cinnamon rolls, and started reading "Stardust" to me. She noticed that my heart was working like crazy. I'm seriously wondering if I've got a high blood pressure issue going on. Maybe not all the time, but there's some kind of combination of water and salt and I-don't-know-what that seems to make my head explode.

Got the bills done at last. Several were due on Halloween, Friday, and thus were late. Bad Sven. But I don't think there'll be a problem. Also sent off misdelivered mail that should have originally gone to the old landlords and to the new landlords. That might be a problem. There was repair work done on the dishwasher a month ago; the bill was supposed to go to the landlord, but it came here. If there's a fee for late payment, I might wind up having to cover it -- but I might be able to wiggle out, given that the landlord was supposed to take care of all this to begin with. Whatever.

Had to go to the bank to juggle money, and to the post office to send off these packets of letters. All in all, the bill paying and errands took 2 hours. Unfortunately, since it forced me out of the house, I gave in to temptation for another errand (when I should have been at home on the couch): my post-October DVD binge. Well, let's rationalize by saying that I now have plenty to watch while stationed under my heap of blankets.

Sick. Oh, yes.

Burning eyes. Swolen lymph nodes. Fatigue, slightly achey & headachy. Raw lips.

Just watched "Fahrenheit 451". Very good, indeed! Directed by Francois Truffaut, you know. Can't say I actually know too much about Truffaut -- but I've taken a recent interest after watching "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" again. Y'know the french guy in that? Truffaut. Spielberg was a big fan, and asked him to play a part. Says so in the special features section.

Called Lane and said we'd have to do dinner next Sunday. Got online just now to let Aimee know that I won't be attending tomorrow's fundraising meeting.

Been staying on the couch, trying not to get online. But I wanted to record a YL thought from yesterday... In the past, I've distinguished three models of dealing with youth issues: Child Protection, Children's Rights, and Youth Liberation. I've also discussed how I see three main threads within YL: Youth Rights, Youth Culture, and Youth Power. The new connection in my mind is simply to see these two lists in relationship to each other: the first distinguishes YL from other youth welfare models, the second further distinguishes branches within YL.

The significance to all this is that I've begun to realize that I not only need to address people within my model of youth welfare, I also have to be aware of what branch of YL they identify with -- otherwise I'm not going to find the allies I'm seeking. I disagree with a Youth Rights person less than I do a Child Protectionist, yet the differences between us are still important.

For those of you who don't know what I'm jabbering on about:

I. Models for addressing the needs of youth

A. Child Protection
Adults should unilaterally decide what is in the "best interests" of young people. With few limitations, adults should be given free reign to nurture, guide, control, and punish youth as they see fit.

B. Children's Rights
Minors, like adults, should have certain inalienable civil and human rights. However, what these rights should be is a largely a thing to be decided by adults, and it shall be adults who bring about reform. Often the best interests of youth coincide with the interests of the parents, and so the rights of parents and their children are sometimes addressed within the same document (e.g. The UN Declaration of the Rights of the Child).

C. Youth Liberation
The interests of minors and adults are often at odds. In trying to work out just solutions to problems, the position of the youth must be considered separately from that of adults. Adults cannot be trusted to accurately imagine how youth feel; youth must speak for themselves. Youth must assume a strong leadership role in bringing about better conditions for themselves.

II. Sub-varieties of Youth Liberation

A. Youth Rights
The Youth Rights (or Youth Equality) movement finds its philosophical roots in the U.S. Declaration of Independence: "We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal...". It seeks equality for youth largely via legal reform -- seeking to rework laws so that they treat youth and adults exactly the same. Cherishing the ideal of egalitarianism, Youth Rights activists tend to see it as discriminatory to in any way limit the participation of adults in the movement. [11.03.03 Addenda: "Youth Rights" organizations can easily morph into "Children's Rights" groups, or vice versa, depending on how much actual youth are allowed to lead. However, there are also other distinguishing markers. For instance, if part of a group's agenda is winning the vote for youth, it almost certainly falls within the YL camp.]

B. Youth Culture
Youth Culture activists (or "youthcentrists") feel that youth have their own innate culture, and that it is an act of oppression to press youth to assimilate. Their interest tends to be in creating venues for alternative culture, e.g. youth safe spaces, where youth can express themselves freely.

C. Youth Power
Adults command, youth are supposed to obey. This arrangement has been codified in a government that excludes formal participation by minors, and is evident in laws that discriminate based on an artificial age line. However, in order to remedy this oppression, we must recognize that it extends beyond law. We see too much petty tyranny in the home, anti-youth bigotry in the adult public, defamation in the media. Adults' motive for control is simple self-interest, getting their way; negative attitudes toward youth rationalize this motive. ...Whereas Youth Rights activists are willing to include adults, and Youth Culture activists exclude them entirely, Youth Power activists will include adults -- but only if they voluntarily limit their participation, to safeguard young people's control over their own movement.

[Gee, can you guess where my sympathies lie?]

Now, wasn't I supposed to be on the couch?